To The Victor - The Spoils

Vegas was a blast! I arrived on Friday at about 11:30, and we were teeing off at 14:00. I called Mike, the CEO and organiser of the weekend to arrange to dump some stuff before heading out for the first round.

The first round at the Bali Hai course was a pretty good 101, despite 5 lost balls. My driver was on form with 8 out of the possible 14 fairways hit (the others being par 3). The greens were a little fluffy though, which contributed to my above average 39 putts (I generally shoot around 30-32)

We had caddies (one per group), to advise us on the line, club selection, distances, fill our divots, repair our pitchmarks, clean our clubs and balls, read the putts, and generally pick up after us..I felt like a tour pro!

Friday night started with a Mexican buffet at the clubhouse, and a few frozen margaritas. The rest of the evening was a relatively quiet affair by Vegas standards. I gambled a little at the Blackjack tables in the Tropicana, and ended the evening $40 ahead!

Saturday was an early start at around 6am, for our 7:30 tee time, at the Royal Links Golf Club. Some of the group had been less careful than I with their previous evening's activities and arrived with only a few hours sleep, much to the detriment of their game! I, however (smug grin) felt great and was looking forward to playing the course for the day, with it's selection of some of the finest holes in Scottish golf, many from not far from my home town in Kilmarnock; from Prestwick and Royal Troon.

We had a fantastic caddy, who steered us through the trouble, helping us avoid Hells Bunker, and the Devil's A'hole. I played very well, including a fantastic drive over the "hotel" on the infamous Road Hole from St Andrews. Again my driver was on track and I hit 7 of the 14 fairways, contributing to a 99 (net 72) which actually won me the morning's prize; $70 and a brand new Callaway driver.

Saturday afternoon saw us on the same course, this time sans caddy, but we were confident. Some of the party dropped out, those with wives in town, and those who had been up late! I played pretty well again, but with a few more lost balls and considerable more wind, ended up with a 103, and 9 of the 14 fairways!

Saturday night, I hit the Tropicana again, one of the only place with $5 Blackjack on weekend evenings on the strip. I didn't fair so well, losing all of my profit from the previous evening and another $40 besides. Still $40 down for two nights in Vegas can't be bad!

As I left the Tropicana to get a cab home, the evening became interesting. I was approached by a not unattractive young lady by the name of Amber, from Ohio (as I later discovered). Apparently I was cute and smelled good (the wind was blowing in my face, go figure!). She continued, was I married, was she here, was I lonely, did I want to have some fun. As my American friends say; "for shits & giggles" I decided to ask her how much she charged, straight out she pipes up $50, I tell her that's too much, and she bargains to $40 and then $20. "I don't pay", I say, and she says, OK you can have it for free!

Taken aback at this, I falter before speaking again and she spots her opportunity. Moving in for the kill, she says let's go back to your room. I ask why a woman in her vocation would give it away for free. She says it is because she is not really a lady of night, rather just a girl from Ohio who has comes to town for the weekend, lost ATM card and spotted a chance to make some money. Really she just wants some company because she is lonely and remember I am cute and smell good!

I tell her my room is way out of town on Decatur, to which this vacationer from Ohio responds, yeah that is a ways out of town, let's go back to my room instead. I ask why should I trust that she will not have her buddies, beat me, rob me and gang rape me back at her place. She tells me that won't, after all she is just a nice lonely girl from Ohio; Oh and BTW I am cute and I smell good. Declining her offer I took my taxi back to my out of town room and safety. I wonder if she ever found someone cuter or better smelling that evening.

Sunday dawned bright and early again. The group was dwindling, and only 6 of us turned up for the final round. I felt confident, as I had been playing well, and had in fact played this particular course, Stallion Mountain Country Club's Secretariat, with Marcus 18 months ago when we were in Vegas. My confidence turned out to be misplaced!

In a howling gale, and pretty tired by now, I shot an abysmal 110 with 5 lost balls, 38 putts and one shining light with 10 of the available 14 fairways!

On Sunday afternoon, I lay by the pool for a bit, caught some rays and headed off to the airport in plenty of time to catch my flight. Unfortunately I ended up being delayed by several hours, not getting home till the wee sma hours of the morning. I decided with Lorraine coming back that evening, to take Monday off too, rest up and prepare for her return.

Needless to say we have been inseparable since she got back!